treat others the way you want to be treated; this is the best rule to live by (i.e.: the golden rule). even if you’re an athiest, or an agnostic, or any other type of -est, -ic, or -ist.
don’t say you will do something and then back out without warning or explanation.
if you’re wrong, if you make a mistake, apologize and do your best to make it right.
those we love the most often bear the brunt of our fears, guilt and frustration, whether or not they are actually to blame; be mature enough to ask their forgiveness when you take it out on them.
grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
as a good friend constantly reminds me: you ARE NOT Atlas; so stop trying to carry the world on your shoulders. it will end up crushing you.
if you have child(ren), hug them everyday and tell them you love and are proud of them. if your job or school demands you be away from them for any length of time (i.e.: overnight), call them. our children are our greatest responsibilities… and our greatest achievements. they represent immortality and the best part of life.
you’re never too big or too old for Mama to take you down. she brought you into this world, and she can darn sure take you out. at any time. always respect Mama.
yes, we mothers DO have eyes in the backs of our heads, and no, we will not show them to you.
if you fight with your sibling(s), be sure to make up quickly. they’re some of the best friends you’ll ever have, and if they’re not, maybe you should sit down together and talk about what each of you is doing wrong. fix it. these misunderstandings are wounds that can fester if not lanced right away.
please remember that i’m an individual; if one of my brothers does something stupid or one of my parents offend you, please remember i’m NOT them; don’t blame me. i make enough of my own stupid mistakes and offend enough people; i don’t need to take someone else’s credit. the only two people i’ll accept blame – and praise for – are myself and my son. otherwise, go to the source.
i’m an open book. i’ve been told this before. along with that other cliche, that i wear my heart on my sleeve. if you don’t like to read and you like guessing games rather than the refreshing change of someone who prefers to tell it like they see it, then feel free to leave.
ALWAYS keep open lines of communication with your significant other – or the one you want to BE your significant other. if you want the relationship to last, to work, YOU must work – both of you. and you can’t keep secrets from each other (unless it’s what you’re getting him or her for their birthday, Christmas, or other special days), or go to bed angry.
no cheating. ever. unless writing a book and that’s the character. then it’s okay. sometimes.
i have trust issues. i’m working on them. but if i trust you, don’t lie to me. i’ll do my best to hold myself to the same standard. if i lie to you or you think i have, please tell me so i can make it right if the fault lies with me.
if you need help, ASK FOR IT. but by the same token, don’t expect someone else to solve your problem(s) for you. it’s still your problem; we’ll help if we can, but don’t get lazy.
i don’t want your drama. i have enough of my own. (especially when my characters start taking control of their stories.) i’m always willing to listen and offer comfort, advice, compassion, a shoulder to cry on/lean on, or assistance, whenever possible, but please remember to take your drama home with you. don’t dump it on me; i’m not your personal landfill. i’m raising a child who lives with ADHD & Asperger’s, and additionally, have my own problems with OCD, adult ADHD, anxiety and depression. i’ll try to extend the same courtesy to you.
i’m willing to listen to your side of the matter, as long as you’ll then listen to mine. (yes, i’ll let you go first.) we may not either succeed in changing the other’s opinion, but we can be satisfied by free, open dialogue. you may not like or agree with everything i have to say, and vise versa. but let’s talk anyway. different points of view are part of what makes life interesting. ignorance begets war. if you don’t believe me, then you need to brush up on your world – or American – history.
yes, i’m sarcastic, and often blunt, with a wacky sense of humor, and likely to stay that way; i’m a writer. it comes with the territory. if you can’t handle that, then maybe our friendship isn’t as strong as i thought it was.
i don’t like to play games. (except when my characters dictate that i do so.) i’m pretty up front with how i feel about people, situations, and life in general; i expect the same courtesy in return. (yes, i said this before, worded differently. somethings are worthy of repetition.)
i take great strides to avoid lying to myself or anyone else (omitting or evading with my son doesn’t count as lying); i expect the same courtesy in return. (also worthy of repetition).
i’m harder to offend than you might think; you disagreeing with me is rarely something worth being offended over. and if i do get offended, i’ll get over it. it’s called maturity.
i’m not stupid. sometimes my learning curve is way out in left field, but eventually i’ll get the picture. though sometimes not until i get smacked in the face with it.
i’m an open-minded moderate conservative, and quite proud of it. the “open-minded” part means (among other things) that i’m happy to listen to your side of the story, and might even agree with you. the “moderate” part means i’m probably not as “right-wing” as you think i am. the “conservative” part means (among other things) that i don’t like to hear God’s name (or titles) cursed. why are you blaming Him for your problems? ever heard of a little thing called “free will?” everybody has it, and unfortunately, sometimes my free will infringes on your free will, so on and so forth. don’t blame the devil(s) either; free will still applies. if you make bad decisions, it’s your own fault; if you make good decisions, you can pat yourself on the back. good and bad happen to us all.
why do people always say “God****?” why not “Satan****?” or (insert parent’s name here)**** or (insert ex-spouse’s name here)****? etcetera, etcetera. i’m sure if you try it, those expressions will “flow off the tongue” just as easily as God’s name, who probably ALSO wonders why you’re cursing Him.
if i offend you, don’t expect me to know it if you don’t tell me. contrary to what seems to be popular opinion, i DON’T have esp (except for where my son is concerned). i may not apologize for offending you (especially if it wasn’t deliberate), but at least i’ll know the borders of your thin skin before our next interaction.
if you have a problem with me, i’d appreciate it if you tell ME rather than the grapevine. nobody likes a tattle tale.
yes, i’m assertive (aka, pushy). it’s all part of my charm.