Tag Archives: Musings

Lessons for Life: The Golden Rule


No matter your race, religion (or lack of), gender or creed, the greatest “rule” ever created, thought of or implemented, is the one dubbed “The Golden Rule.” In its simplest, purest form, it charges us to treat others the way we wish to be treated.

Yes, it is a verse from the Bible (so Atheists and other non-Christians may believe themselves exempt), but it’s also the best law I know of for life. Just think of all the evil that would cease to exist if we as humans – ALL humans (WITHOUT qualification or equivocation) – treated other humans – ALL humans (again, WITHOUT qualification or equivocation –) – the way we wish to be treated. So much pain and suffering could be eliminated.

Sexual orientation, religion, ethnicity, gender, culture, opinion, politics, nationality, creed (Did I forget anything?) have NO bearing on The Golden Rule…at least, they SHOULDN’T. The Golden Rule transcends them all.

This is the one idea I have been force-feeding my son from the day he was born. Sometimes I think he actually gets it. Other times, he says, “I treat other people the way they treat me.” *sigh*

That’s not the way it reads. But why should I be surprised? Society’s voice is sometimes louder than a parent’s voice. And that is a tragedy. This idea/law/life-lesson isn’t based on RESPONDING to OTHERS’ treatment of US. It is meant to be OUR FIRST ACTION. And THEN, our reaction.

Yes, I do realize it is sometimes (often?) a bitter pill to swallow. As humans, when we are mistreated or betrayed – or PERCEIVE we’ve been mistreated or betrayed – our knee-jerk REACTION is revenge. Instead of finding – or creating – something positive from something negative, we feel justified in tossing away The Golden Rule, because the betrayal or mistreatment has released us from responsibility of our own actions.

I get it. I have the same problem. Especially since I have a temper. Many a bridge has exploded (never mind the burning) behind me due to my temper and REACTION without consideration. Most of those bridges have never been rebuilt. And I have life-long regrets.

And here we come to the heart of the matter. The Golden Rule is applicable ONLY to OUR OWN ACTIONS. (Mind. Blown.)

As much as I would like to, I ultimately cannot dictate my son’s actions and reactions. He may be a minor according to society and the laws of the USA, but he is still a living, thinking being with free will. All I can do is TEACH him the right actions, give him consequences for the wrong choices, and praise him for the right choices.

The ONLY person I can control is MYSELF. And sometimes I fail. That doesn’t mean I stop trying, throw in the towel. No. I get back up, dust myself off, and try to do better next time. And the next time, and even the one after that. As long as I draw breath, I need to strive to treat others the way I wish to be treated. It is my mantra.

 

What is/are your view(s) on The Golden Rule? Do you think perfect adherence would make our world better, safer, more peaceful?

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Filed under Life, Parenting, Real Life, Relationships, Writing

Grace (or The Golden Trumpet Tree)


I parked ‘neath

the golden trumpet tree

that grows in my parents’ yard.

 

Rains fell and winds gusted

flowers plummeted

from the tree

like tears.

 

On the wet, fertile grass

or hard, sterile concrete

they landed;

all but one.

 

It rested on my windshield

abiding the quick, fierce ballyhoo,

its brilliant petals dimmed and drenched.

 

It greeted me, as I prepared to drive away,

its yellowness

reviving

in the warmth

of the sun that had broken through

storm clouds

to shine a ray on the

single golden trumpet

that the tree gifted

to me.

 

(Photo source: Unsplash.com)

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Filed under Emotion, Life, Mental Health, Musings, Poetry, Thankful, Writing

Why, Yes, I DO Judge Books by Their Covers


For the past 10 years, I’ve nurtured a running list of soon-to-be-released books. These are books – in various genres – that have captured my attention for one reason or another. Often, the first thing about them that catches my eye is the cover art – that little thumbnail image that pops up right next to the title and author’s name.

At least once a week, I stalk the pages of Goodreads Giveaways, Amazon’s Coming Soon and Barnes and Nobles’ Coming Soon sites. I also follow several publishers and try to discover their publishing schedules. If only I could get a sneak peek at the catalogs they send to bookstores of the books to be published within the next year. That would be perfect!

But I digress. One reason I stalk for books is because I want to know – as early as possible – when my favorite authors (there are a lot of them!) will be releasing their next work(s). I also want to see the cover art. This is the most basic way I choose new authors/books. I judge books by their covers.

book-cover-art

Judging a book by its cover

We’ve all heard and/or read the proverb, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I’m not certain of the origin of that cliché, but I’ve learned to ignore it. (I think it mostly refers to prejudice against fellow human beings, anyway…in which case, DON’T DO THIS.) I DO judge a book by its cover.

If the cover catches my eye, next I’ll read the title, then the author’s name. If I’m still interested, I’ll read the synopsis. When I’m searching for a new author to read, the cover art is most important. It’s the first thing (other than the title) that will either grab my attention, or repel it.

Sometimes, even if I’m not attracted to the cover, I’ll pick up a book to read anyway…but only if it’s an author I’ve already read, or the title appeals to me. If it’s the former, I’ll give it a chance to enchant me. If it’s the latter, I’ll read the summary to see if that, coupled with the title, can help me get past the cover art. If so, then it’s a go. And hopefully, it won’t disappoint.

Sometimes this judgment pays off

To demonstrate the marketability of a book cover, here is a short list of books I’ve purchased in which the initial attraction for me was the cover art.

  • Malice: The Faithful and the Fallen, Book I by John Gwynne (I have since read the entire series. Phenomenal – a worthy successor to Game of Thrones series…without all the sex.)
  • Sword and Verse by Kathy MacMillan (Seems to be a stand-along novel that deserves at least one sequel.)
  • The Progeny by Tosca Lee (I’ve always been fascinated by the legend of Erzsebet Bathory de Ecsed, so almost anything having to do remotely with the legend appeals to me. This is an excellent contemporary thriller with ties to the infamous Erzsebet Bathory, and I count the days until the sequel is released.)
  • Nevernight by Jay Kristoff (I could not get into Jay’s Stormdancer series, try as I might. But this cover grabbed my attention when I first saw it – it’s mezmerizing. And the dustjacket summary sold me on it. I love pretty much everything about this book. Except that it ended. Another count-down-until-the-sequel-is-released series for me.)
  • The Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen (The original hardcover cover art is what attracted me. Not very fond of the covers of the sequels, but the original had already done its job, so I just ignored the covers and read the books.)

I would recommend these books – and their sequels – to anyone, especially if you’re a fan of the historical and fantasy genres. Even if you’re NOT a fan of historical and fantasy genres (how are we friends, again?), all of these books have at least one bada** female main or secondary character. I’m a great admirer of authors who can write strong, sympathetic (and sometimes UNsympathetic) bada** female characters.

And sometimes the covers just turn me off

Likewise, a list of books whose covers turned me off so much (and made me question the publishers’ and other readers’ tastes) that I didn’t even bother reading the summary to find out if it appealed to me…

  • Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee (I didn’t read To Kill a Mockingbird. Had no interest in the first book, and the cover of this book has kept me uninterested. In fact, the cover of GSAW is rather irritating to look at, in my opinion.)
  • The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (Maybe the original cover on a first edition would be attractive to me, but even so, I’m probably a lost cause as a reader. I know what the story is about, and it’s never tempted me. Never been much of a fan of the Jazz Age, either, so there’s that.)
  • One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (Again, maybe the original cover on a first edition would be attractive to me. I have actually attempted to read this book, based on the recommendation of others, but again, just cannot get into it. I love the title, but the cover art does not appeal to me – and frankly, neither does the story.)

 

Okay, so there’s another common theme with the books whose covers turned me off – most, if not all, of them are considered to be literary classics. As an avid reader, I’ve always been a little confused as to why the term “literary classics” makes me shudder and shy away. It may be due to all the “literary classics” students are assigned to read and report on for school. “Literary classics” seem to be large tomes that are heavy on narration and exposition, and light on action and drama. But then that may just be my ADHD talking.

How about you? Do you ever find yourself choosing a book based on its cover or title? Do you ever browse brick and mortar bookstores or sites like Goodreads.com searching for your next great read? Why or why not?

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Filed under ADHD, Book Covers, books, Fantasy, Life, Literature, Marketing, Reader, Reading, Real Life