Category Archives: Stuff

achieving goals


so i finally posted the first of many blogs on my friend alina’s site, www.keydigitalproduction.com! it’s taken me a little more than a month to get started, but it’s there now and i’m pretty proud of it – i think alina likes it to. : – )  the post discusses the legend(s) of baba yaga and how i came to use her as a secondary character in my thesis/manuscript/novel. thanks to alina who’s been very patient while i attempted to create some order out of the chaos of my schedules. you can read and comment on the blog via the above link.

i’ve also secured one of the copy editor positions with www.hippocampusmagazine.com! (happy dance!) it’s a volunteer position, but nonetheless, an important one. managing editor donna talarico maintains high standards for her monthly online publication, and i’m proud to have been accepted as a member of her community. it also gives me additional experience to add to my burgeoning writer/editor resume! thank you, donna, for this great opportunity!

meanwhile, i continue to work on the creation of my own online literary magazine. it’s still in the works. i’m learning the intricacies of such a venture and enjoying the ride. my mfa internship with etruscan press (www.etruscanpress.org) is a great help with the finer details, such as creating a 501(c)(3), business plan, business structure and researching grants. no specific target date yet for the launch of the site, but i’ll be sure to let you know when i’ve narrowed it down.

meanwhile, loving the broadening of my writerly horizons, and hoping that all these educational and volunteer writing/editing adventures eventually fashion themselves into a viable career. until then, county government will continue to be the primary beneficiary of my (paid) administrative skills.

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hope


what is hope? from whence comes this word, this feeling? is it truly “hopeful” or does it sink us deeper into depression when that for which we “hope” doesn’t come to pass? and if we talk about what it is we’re hoping for (sometimes ad nauseam), does it jinx us; put a wrench in the fulfillment of said hope? or is that just me?

maybe the hope of something should be kept a well-guarded secret. but if that hope involves another person, group of people, etc, if we keep what we wish for secret, how will said person(s) know how to respond? or even that they’re supposed to respond? bah. it’s enough to make you tired.

according to dictionary.com, hope is defined as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.”

synonyms of “hope” include: faith, expectation, dream, desire, goal, prospect, promise, anticipate, acceptance, assurance. the list is (probably literally) a mile long, and consists of both nouns and verbs.

hope has been around for a long time, and is of unknown origin. it occurs hundreds of times in the Bible. some of my favorite verses include:

  • Romans 8:25 “but if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” (still trying to wrap my head around that one);
  • Proverbs 13:12 “hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
  • Proverbs 23:18 “surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.”
  • Hebrews 11:1 “now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

many businesses, especially churches, utilize “hope” as part of their name: hope college, hope cleaners, house of hope, new hope baptist church. and let’s not forget about people who bear either the first or surname of “hope.”

then there are “hope quotes.” here are a few:

  • “to love is to risk not being loved in return. to hope is to risk pain. to try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
  • “love comes to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve been betrayed, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt before.”
  • hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.”
  • “learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

there’s even a short page on hope at wikipedia. okay… maybe i’m analyzing this just a little too much…

i think you get the point. it appears that hope is not just a word, it’s part of our essence, one of the things that makes us human. so nope, sorry. don’t think it’s possible to live without hope and still retain our humanity.

even when unrequited hope slams into you with an unyielding fist, making you stagger, breathless with anguish, a kernel remains. as you recover from that soul-wrenching, hope quietly grows. and one day when you least expect it, it’ll peer up at you, like the first flower of spring; it will rise anew, strong and confident, ready to once more reach for that expectation, hoping that this time, it will see fulfillment.

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deal with it


i used to take everything personally. easily offended, i would cry if someone looked at me cross-eyed. even at work. it was embarrassing having to excuse myself in a choked voice, hurry to the ladies’ room, lock myself in a stall and muffle my sobs at this or that look someone gave me or something they said about my personality, my height, my tone of voice, my naivety, my family… it was exhausting.

relief came when i was about 21. during one of these “choking on my tears” sessions, a co-worker told me, “wendy, you better learn to develop a thick skin, or you won’t make it very far in this business.” of course at the time i was working for an a/c company, where most of my co-workers were men, and while they were usually respectful, several had criminal records and the personalities to match, all were hard-drinking, and as salty as sailors. but i took that advice to heart.

i slowly learned that most people aren’t out to offend me, the world DOESN’T revolve around me, most people DON’T care about my feelings, and i CAN ignore the cussing and swearing. i developed a thick-skin, learned to assert myself, and when i stopped to think about it, realized that my offense meter is actually pretty high – i’m not easily offended…unless i choose to be – usually when people misuse proper grammer and spelling.

what freedom! of course, along with this realization i learned that many other people have low offense meters…and my straight-forward, assertive personality lays them out like swatted flies.

i do believe that growing up means things like developing a thicker skin, understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you, and realizing that most people (myself included) do not (well, not usually, anyway) sit around dreaming up ways to offend others. most of us have better things to do with our time. such as hold down a job, raise a family, attempt to find our way out of the maze of consumer debt, and debate politics and religion.

while i try to employ a certain amount of tact (within reason – MY reason) in my own speech, i refuse to try intuiting what’s going to offend others, apologize for my own thick-skin, or my “call ’em as i sees ’em” approach.

so grow up, get a life of your own, develop some common sense and a thicker skin, act like the adult your birth certificate alleges you are, and quit trying to make everyone around you as miserable as you seem to be.

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