Category Archives: Blogging

by | June 13, 2011 · 11:39 am

hope


what is hope? from whence comes this word, this feeling? is it truly “hopeful” or does it sink us deeper into depression when that for which we “hope” doesn’t come to pass? and if we talk about what it is we’re hoping for (sometimes ad nauseam), does it jinx us; put a wrench in the fulfillment of said hope? or is that just me?

maybe the hope of something should be kept a well-guarded secret. but if that hope involves another person, group of people, etc, if we keep what we wish for secret, how will said person(s) know how to respond? or even that they’re supposed to respond? bah. it’s enough to make you tired.

according to dictionary.com, hope is defined as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.”

synonyms of “hope” include: faith, expectation, dream, desire, goal, prospect, promise, anticipate, acceptance, assurance. the list is (probably literally) a mile long, and consists of both nouns and verbs.

hope has been around for a long time, and is of unknown origin. it occurs hundreds of times in the Bible. some of my favorite verses include:

  • Romans 8:25 “but if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” (still trying to wrap my head around that one);
  • Proverbs 13:12 “hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
  • Proverbs 23:18 “surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.”
  • Hebrews 11:1 “now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

many businesses, especially churches, utilize “hope” as part of their name: hope college, hope cleaners, house of hope, new hope baptist church. and let’s not forget about people who bear either the first or surname of “hope.”

then there are “hope quotes.” here are a few:

  • “to love is to risk not being loved in return. to hope is to risk pain. to try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
  • “love comes to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve been betrayed, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt before.”
  • “hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.”
  • “learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

there’s even a short page on hope at wikipedia. okay… maybe i’m analyzing this just a little too much…

i think you get the point. it appears that hope is not just a word, it’s part of our essence, one of the things that makes us human. so nope, sorry. don’t think it’s possible to live without hope and still retain our humanity.

even when unrequited hope slams into you with an unyielding fist, making you stagger, breathless with anguish, a kernel remains. as you recover from that soul-wrenching, hope quietly grows. and one day when you least expect it, it’ll peer up at you, like the first flower of spring; it will rise anew, strong and confident, ready to once more reach for that expectation, hoping that this time, it will see fulfillment.

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by | May 25, 2011 · 12:27 pm

deal with it


i used to take everything personally. easily offended, i would cry if someone looked at me cross-eyed. even at work. it was embarrassing having to excuse myself in a choked voice, hurry to the ladies’ room, lock myself in a stall and muffle my sobs at this or that look someone gave me or something they said about my personality, my height, my tone of voice, my naivety, my family… it was exhausting.

relief came when i was about 21. during one of these “choking on my tears” sessions, a co-worker told me, “wendy, you better learn to develop a thick skin, or you won’t make it very far in this business.” of course at the time i was working for an a/c company, where most of my co-workers were men, and while they were usually respectful, several had criminal records and the personalities to match, all were hard-drinking, and as salty as sailors. but i took that advice to heart.

i slowly learned that most people aren’t out to offend me, the world DOESN’T revolve around me, most people DON’T care about my feelings, and i CAN ignore the cussing and swearing. i developed a thick-skin, learned to assert myself, and when i stopped to think about it, realized that my offense meter is actually pretty high – i’m not easily offended…unless i choose to be – usually when people misuse proper grammer and spelling.

what freedom! of course, along with this realization i learned that many other people have low offense meters…and my straight-forward, assertive personality lays them out like swatted flies.

i do believe that growing up means things like developing a thicker skin, understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you, and realizing that most people (myself included) do not (well, not usually, anyway) sit around dreaming up ways to offend others. most of us have better things to do with our time. such as hold down a job, raise a family, attempt to find our way out of the maze of consumer debt, and debate politics and religion.

while i try to employ a certain amount of tact (within reason – MY reason) in my own speech, i refuse to try intuiting what’s going to offend others, apologize for my own thick-skin, or my “call ’em as i sees ’em” approach.

so grow up, get a life of your own, develop some common sense and a thicker skin, act like the adult your birth certificate alleges you are, and quit trying to make everyone around you as miserable as you seem to be.

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by | April 11, 2011 · 9:45 am

rejoice always: a practical application


so. auto accident a few weeks ago, increasingly bi-polar auto air conditioner (thank God for power windows – but it’s in the 80s most days now and not a lot of breeze), and this morning, the big one: my car wouldn’t start. wouldn’t even turn over. the remote unlocked the doors, my kiddo and i got in the car, i inserted the key into the ignition, turned it and…nothing. nada. zip. zero reaction. nobody home. brain dead.

well, okay, there WAS a slight reaction: my gas gauge registered and the mileage appeared on the dash screen. great. at least i know how much gas i have left and how many miles till i reach 100,000.

i had to rouse the parents for a ride, ’cause my brother had already left for his 24 hour shift at the station, and my kiddo starts the reading and math portions of FCAT today. first thing. at least he had a good, healthy breakfast. yep, he was late. but i was smart and called the school to let them know we were having car trouble, but he’d be there. go me.

drove back by the house on my way to work to be sure i’d locked the car. because i thought i’d hit the remote, but not 100 percent sure of that. my sad little car was still unlocked. i pressed the “lock” on the remote, expecting to hear the click of doors securing. nothing. zilch. pressed it again, just to be sure. nothing doing. sighed, opened the driver door to press the power locks. also dead. what?! for the first time in the six years i’ve owned that hunk of metal (it’s entire life off the lot), i had to manually lock all the doors on my car.

i think this is more than just needing a new battery. electrical problem? if so, it’s going right back to the body shop that repaired the car after my accident. i’ve had it back less than a week and since nothing unusual has happened in that time, must be something they did/didn’t do.

so. working on the “rejoice always” and “in everything give thanks” (even when you don’t want to & fail to see the good in a given situation) theories, i rejoiced and gave thanks this morning over my dead car. and who knows, i might have avoided another accident or something much worse by not being able to drive my own car and leave the house at that time. God knows what he’s doing; i guess it’s not important that he tell me. so i’m trying to exercise my tiny kernel of faith and just TRUST him…not always an easy thing to do, ’cause i’ve got this control issue…

i also tried to find the silver lining, and what do you know, there is one: i get to drive my mom’s still-like-new fully air conditioned ford hybrid suv that drives like a dream and has power everything. at least for today. : – )

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